Stephanie Red Feather
Shadow Speak
Envy Is A Tool

Envy is a natural human condition as well as its cousin jealousy, the oft accompanying emotion. We all experience them. Denying your envy only makes it go underground where it can manifest into bitterness, obsession or self-loathing. There's no need to hide it, and it doesn't mean you're bad or un-evolved, or - dare I say - unspiritual.  It's what we do with our envy that is most important.

Whenever envy or jealousy show up for you, treat it like a communication from your higher self. "I want that. Now what do I need to do to create that for myself?" Don't let yourself fall into victim mentality if that's your pattern. You are the creator of your Universe. Act like it.

Whenever you find yourself jealous or envious of another person or something they have, take that energy out of the shadow and let it become productive. The reason the envy showed up in the first place is because it's telling you something about yourself. Start with making a list of what it is you are envious about. Tell yourself the truth.

What does the other person have that you want?

Is it material things? A larger house? Acreage? A boat? Beautiful jewelry? Artwork? A nice car?

Is it stuff they get to do? Go on a cruise? Travel internationally? Attend the theater? Eat at nice restaurants? Hire a nanny or house-cleaner?

Is it a quality they possess? They always know what to say? They are calm no matter what? Nothing gets them down? Lots of people love and adore them?

Maybe it's something they have accomplished? Financial success? The kind of job you've always wanted? Completing a marathon? Losing 200 pounds? Getting a degree? Changing their lifestyle?


Nobody likes to admit their deficiencies, but here's what envy really is: it's a projection of what you think you can't be, do or have onto another person. If it shows up through the filter of envy, it means you have already decided it's not possible for you.

You're wrong.

Maybe you're used to beating yourself up, denying yourself, or telling yourself you don't deserve xyz. But if you want it, you have the power to make it so. That power? Choice.

Posion EnvyLook at the list of what you want and make a decision about your priorities. Let's say there's eight things on the list that are really meaningful to you. It's unrealistic to try and do all eight at the same time. But you can choose which one you want to do first and start putting energy into creating it.

Then it's just like any other goal setting endeavor. Figure out what it's going to take for you to get there. Do you need to set money aside every month for a certain length of time? Do you need to change jobs? Do you need to do some inner work with a coach or counselor to help you adopt a new mindset and clear up some stuff from the past? Do you need to stop wasting time watching TV, trolling the internet or engaging in other escaping behaviors? Do you need to ask for support?

Instead of leaking energy into unconscious envy, reclaim that energy from the shadows and start funneling it into conscious manifesting.

Whenever envy or jealousy show up for you, treat it like a communication from your higher self. "I want that. Now what do I need to do to create that for myself?" Don't let yourself fall into victim mentality if that's your pattern. You are the creator of your Universe. Act like it.

There's also a hidden bonus when you engage in this activity consciously: you get to free up energy that might have been perpetually locked up in "what ifs?" and "some days" and "you shoulds." When you create that list of what you want and, subsequently, what you choose to focus on, by default you are also choosing what NOT to focus on. Ergo, letting go of what really is not that important to you to pursue.

You can actually free yourself of false or erroneous desires when you tell yourself the truth about:

• what you want

• why you think you can't have it,

• if it is truly your desire (and not something implanted by family or society), and

• if the reason you can't have it is actually true or not (it's usually not - just something we've convinced ourselves of)

Stop Shoulding On YourselfThis exercise exposes the hidden causes of some of our desires. Often times the root of at least part of our jealousy or envy is wanting something we THINK we're supposed to because our family or society convinced us that's what we should want. You know the drill: you should want to get married; you should want to have kids; you should want a secure 9-to-5 job; you should, you should, you should. (This is called "should'ing" on yourself, by the way.)

If you can identify these infiltrators, then you get to remove them from the realm of illusion and that precious energy can then be redirected toward your new priorities.

Suggested activities:

1. Make a grid on a piece of paper with 5 columns. In the first column, list everything you can think of that you are jealous or envious of another person for. Be as specific as possible.

2. In the second column, write the reason(s) you think you can't be/do/have that.

3. In the third column, write down true or false, being honest with yourself about whether or not that reason in the second column is really true, or a lie you've chosen to believe.

4. In the fourth column, put a (1), (2), or (3) next to each item to help you prioritize. (1) being the highest priority and (3) being the lowest priority. In doing this exercise, you might even realize that some of what you THOUGHT you wanted really isn't even your desire, but someone else's desire you adopted (Maybe a parent, sibling or ex). If that's true, then cross it out and free yourself of it!

5. In the fifth column, prioritize all the items that received a (1).

6. Take back control! On a separate piece of paper, start writing out a plan for achieving your highest priority!

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